The Heart Surgeon

Have you ever experienced the feeling of "my heart just skipped a beat"? It can be a little unnerving when you suddenly feel your heart do something weird inside your chest. I have had this feeling more than once and as I have become more mature (NOT OLD); my heart has done this more frequently, enough that I went to a cardiologist. I went through a battery of tests, bloodwork, and monitoring to find that my heart has a little condition that wasn't necessarily alarming but it's something I have to be mindful of. So...why am I sharing some of my medical history, yet again? Because I feel like I had an appointment with THE heart surgeon this morning - Dr. G.O.D.

I don't usually have a routine in how I spend my morning with the LORD. I don't have certain Scriptures or anything like that, Holy Spirit usually will speak, and I will try to incline myself toward Him. But I'm not gonna lie at times that's hard because of distractions, my own selfishness, and allowing my flesh to have control rather than the Spirit. But today God began to stir in my heart by reminding me of a conversation I had with my cousin a couple of weeks ago about being "examined". I began to dive into those Passages with the message of having God examine the heart. It was like that battery of tests I had a couple of years ago, but I didn't have to wait for the results - Oh No...the Dr. was administering the test and giving the results immediately.

Scripture says, " Test me, O LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind;". I'm going to stop here because this little word "examine" carries so much weight; this is not like a written test or even the test a physician would give. Examine carries the idea of what happens in making metals pure, such as silver. It's the process of fire, heat, and the metal becoming liquid so the impurities can come to the top and be drawn out of silver, so it becomes pure. It's that purification process that then makes silver its purest form, making its worth even greater. It's the process done to metals the blacksmith of old use to be coveted for because when the impurities were drawn out of the steel used for armor and weapons those became stronger. Impurities make the metal weak, useless, and worthless.

I cannot examine myself and always know what is going wrong or what must be identified by the Great Physician as the problem. Why? Because I can make excuses and reasons up as to why I am doing things, the motives I have. I may say that I don't have motives but if I allow God to examine me....UH OH - time to visit the O.R. "Remove the dross from the silver, and out comes material for the silversmith" Proverbs 25:4 NIV. As I sat with the LORD, I began to ask Him to start the surgical process. It never feels good at the moment either because if you're anything like me He begins digging and I start to realize where I have allowed my heart to drift from Him - again. Ya, again. I would not be who He has called me to be if I wasn't honest and transparent with you all, as well as myself.

When my heart would "skip" I would kinda freak out a little bit. I would get up and start moving around, put my hand on my chest, check my pulse, and begin breathing exercises. After a few minutes I'm back to normal and so just keep on with what I was doing BUT I would be a little more aware. This is where God was dealing with me, I was beginning to be forgetful of His goodness, even though I live in it every day. It's the things I take for granted, the life I live, the calling I have - all of it. I have become distracted allowing myself to look around rather than keep my eyes on Him, to think I have to do something to fix the issues I currently face. Is there any reason for it? NO. Because He has never disappointed (read The Disappointments from May 2021) in all the situations and seasons I have deemed to be impossible (read Mission Possible). When I am walking humbly with the LORD, I don't have to worry about my next meal, the bills next month, or what the prognosis I'm going to be given...because He has more than proven Himself to me. So, as I get up from the proverbial operating table, I walk away more aware and begin anew.

When my heart began skipping more and more is when I made my appointment with the cardiologist. I would lie if I said I wasn't concerned, I prayed it would be nothing serious and thankfully it isn't but why would I not feel it's serious when I begin to drift from Him? God has set before those of us who are His children the race to run, and I cannot do that effectively if I begin to be distracted and get off course. To have the LORD examine my heart and mind regularly is the only way I am assured that I will not end up in the OR again. Just like the Cardiologist who prescribed medication to help the "skip", God prescribed His own medication - Conviction, Prayer, Meditation, Worship, Forgiveness (not necessarily in that order). As I walk my day out, I'm a bit more pure, stronger, and always priceless - As you are.

~ WARRIOR ON!